One of those email attachments....

[martin]

That appealed to my warped sense of humour

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah  night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m.  E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

 First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually -censored- in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

 I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

 After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

 I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

 I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

 Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

 The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

  In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

[RichardKB]

Yes I had it sent to me and had a little chuckle.

Rich

[petertc]

yep seen it as well, others have told me it's a fake , but it is funny 

[Tombo]

Written by a 12 year old, glamorising violence.
What a load of rubbish.
You should get out more.

[martin]

you should get a sense of humour! 
There is little enough levity, I don't give a flying fig if it was written by a four-year-old - it is funny! (IF you have a sense of humour)

[Tombo]

If you had ever been mugged you might not find it funny.
Remember this is supposed to be about a real life situation.

[RichardKB]

People fall off things and break there legs but they still laugh at it afterwards.

My mate had a 12 bore shoved in his face in coventry precinct when he was a security guard.

But we have a laugh about it now.

That is what makes us what we are.

Rich

[martin]

To be told to "get out more"  is a heartless thing for somebody to say to a person who is registered disabled, but I've got a sense of humour, and make allowance for humourless f***wits!

[alank]

The relationship between humour and political correctness is fascinating 

[insolare]

I've had a gun pointed at me in a taxi in St Petersburg and mugged at knife point in Kiev. I find it hilarious. True or not.

[Ivan]

I used to shoot regularly at school (actually, on ranges, during school hours). The guy that ran the CCF often used to chide youngsters who carelessly pointed rifles in directions other than down the range, by saying 'The last person that pointed a gun at me....I shot'. If you disregard the fact that he said this to schoolboys on a regular basis, he was right - as he featured in the SAS book 'Jungle Frontier'. We could never work out whether it was said with humour or not.

[Justme]

I used to shoot regularly at school (actually, on ranges, during school hours). The guy that ran the CCF often used to chide youngsters who carelessly pointed rifles in directions other than down the range, by saying 'The last person that pointed a gun at me....I shot'. If you disregard the fact that he said this to schoolboys on a regular basis, he was right - as he featured in the SAS book 'Jungle Frontier'. We could never work out whether it was said with humour or not.

I was on a military range in the 80's when some one lost their marbles & started shooting all over the place. People were holing up all over the place seeking a bit of cover.
Luckily he missed every one, he was not so lucky. I would not have wanted to be the range officer that day (or the days that followed).

[shiela_robins]

Real or not it still is a funny read.  LOL!