Hi AV1,
I hate to see a post go unanswered, so here's my take on this (I'm by no means an expert btw). I'm planning something similar myself in the future, the points I'm considering for the tank and control system are - space and access to install the tank, strength/structural factors of the rafters and capacity of the tank. I'd look to install the biggest practical size I could fit through the loft hatch, perhaps around 100L+ to prevent frequent running of the pump. For an 7L flush that would give you around 14 flushes per 'pump'.
There's some very good articles on control systems and circuit diagrams at
http://www.reuk.co.uk/water.htm. I even learnt a new word there - 'hysteresis' which is pump chattering to you and me. There is an article called 'simple well pump controller' which is what I plan to base my control system around, with some kind of run dry protection for the pump should the lower storage tank run out.
Don't forget some provision for visible overflow on the header tank just in case things go awry with the control system. Also to think about is how to switch back to mains for flushing the loos in the event of the rainwater tank running low. Bear in mind the mains/rainwater separation needed for compliance with water regs if you want to fit a mains backup to the header tank. Depending on your tanks and layout (and location !) you may need to think about preventing the system freezing up in winter also.
Food for thought I hope, I'll caveat all the above as my inexpert views

(there's many more wiser heads than mine out there) and best of luck with the system.
Cheers, Bob.