Wind/diesel installation....

[frotter]

Normal service may never be resumed - the Lord of Frotdor is desperately attempting to recover his equilibrium....

[Panda_Badger]

the Lord of Frotdor is desperately attempting to recover his equilibrium....

A bit too cryptic for Panda-kind, what's happened now frotter? 

Wouldn't like to be left in suspenders.  I know some might.

The Panda.

[northern installer]

Normal service may never be resumed - the Lord of Frotdor is desperately attempting to recover his equilibrium....

that will teach you the folly of going out when its 2 shots for 1 during happy hour!

[frotter]

Sorry - been giggling too hard at this -

http://www.navitron.org.uk/forum/index.php?topic=3190.0

 

[frotter]

'nnnnnggghh...'
Sound of balding ginger man dragging himself away from Tower Tales......

Ah! At last. A proper on-topic stylee post about wind and diesel installation things. I know, it wont happen often so dont wory too much.....


Look what the nice Navistron dudes sent me!






Now - i'm sure the tail will fit on the turbine....... wont it? Best check then!



Yeah - apart from the giant bolt being about 2 inches too long it fits perfick!



Hmm, now i'm all on me lonesome, like - so how to get all them heavy lumpy things up on top o yon tall skinny ting...?


Hehe...  Nice bit of old rope (from the tip), nice gert pulley blocks (from the tip), stupid ginger brain (yep...).


Ooer...



I hate heights, me!!


Thats heavy that thing..... Wheres the blimmin ESH when you need a set of Megatanium reinforced biceps...? Pff...




Er.....






'Hooray an oop she rises'   (or insert hauling type sea shaggers shanty of your choice...)




Hmmm... I know. i'll leave it hanging there overnight till 'the boys' turn up to help. The Frot sinews are too jellified by years of laudanum suppository abuse too hoik that blighter any further methinks...



Now - Just have to hope Lord Wyleu's sleek, steam powered war-owls dont sniff the magnetism on the still night air and swoop down terrifyingly from the black sky upon the Vale of Frot to suck the vital force from within the...      Hmm? Wassat? Wrong story..?
I'l get me cloak....


AAAARRGGHH!

I should think.

[Twenty4Seven]

All that blocky tacky stuff brought the following instantly to mind .....

Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Frotter's not at work today.

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor,some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Frot's not at work today.

[frotter]

Heh! - thankfully we all escaped heavy block and tackle/feeble human form encounter eventualities.



Now having that great lump o metal a-danglin there all weighty like, what we need is some inhumanly strong, unfeeling, unthinking machine being to apply great purchase to the artifact.




'please state the nature of the technical emergency..'

Christonabikewheredidhecomefrom!!
I think he's taken to monitoring our feeble lard-based brians for telepathetic emanations. appearing before he's been formally summoned. Not sure i can cope with that.......


Best make use of him while he's here i suspose....






And with one lightning fast flick of a hard-light ear....       ayyy-oooop!



He's even done up the bolts with his digital digits just like Arnie putting on that jeep starter motor out of Terminator. Blimey!


He beggered off then - back into the cosy plasma realm inside his E:/ drive. Pfff...
So i'll just struggle with me marmite-addled tendons to hoik this heavy tail up all on me lonesome then... Hmmm?  De-materialised git.




Phwoooo!....
Brought tears of pure lard to me rheumy old peepers that did i can tel ye's! (anyone still there....?)


Please note the 'Quantum Lard' glyph on the tail.... what can it mean..?

Derekcank (backwards) now....  toasty solar    hot bath and large tumbler of Advocaaaaat  now, i should think!!

XX

[goodnoisefella]

Advocaat, Frot ?

....I always thought you were a Creme de Menthe man   

[stephen]

Creme de larde more like

[northern installer]

Noooooooo!! more likely to be some evil concoction,made from fermented lard sludge,then distilled by solar power ,in a vessel made from a discarded toilet bowl,with ice.    probably. 

[frotter]

Sorry but its Advocaaaat all the way for me chaps...... oh go on then, just a quick Lard smoothie by way of apairofteef.

mmmm..... Lard smoothie......


So - this windy turnip then... before we go any further lets just check the resistance across the
windings etc from the pole connection. All my own brilliant idea, natch! (ahem...) They all read around 3 ohms - seems reasonable.


Great picture.... 
We also measured inside the controller in Chernobyl. Guess what? 3 ohms. Job's a good 'un our kid!



Hmm, what i need now that the ESH is 'defragging' or some such nonsense is a numpty to carry the great (smaller, high wind type..) Blades of Doom up yon bumpy field...


Hehe...


There we are look, hes only gone and done it all on his tod, like.




I expect he'll be needing a nice rest now...




 


How can i work with these beings, hmmm??




Next time bodgin fans - Speciwan is rebooted to help with (small...  ) Whirling Arms of doom and wields impressive large holographic tool.  (!)

etc...

[Eleanor]

Sorry but its Advocaaaat all the way for me chaps...... oh go on then, just a quick Lard smoothie by way of apairofteef.

mmmm..... Lard smoothie......

Frot  , Is this the same as a Lard Sabre  Not that I'm implying you are gay or owt 

[frotter]

No no no, Lard smoothies (as any fule no..) are a delicious and refreshing summer tipple enjoyed by all the family at picnics and that.
A Lard sabre? An elegant and civilised weapon that can only be mastered by a true Lard Knight. (best they not be gay or owt though as the level of gratuitous innuendo increases by many orders of magnitude...)

I should think...

I, myself, am not very gay.
Or owt.

[The Slow Old Man]

And there was me thinking you were quite a jolly chap really  ...............I think Not that i'm stupid or owt

[Ivan]

so you ARE a little bit gay?! Frotter outs on Navitron forum. You heard it here first.