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Author Topic: Oh no! I'm a terrorist!  (Read 811 times)
Richard Owen
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« on: August 11, 2011, 05:31:53 PM »

This just in from the FBI



ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
601 4th Street NW
Washington, DC 20535
Fax 0872 111 5935
8/8/2011


Assistant Director in Charge
James W. McJunkin

Special Agents in Charge
- Philip Selton
- Brenda Heck
- Ronald T. Hosko




BANK OF NIGERIA TRANSFERRED 10,500,000.00 US DOLLARS TO BANK OF AMERICA IN YOUR FAVOR AS THE BENEFICIARY BY INHERITANCE MEANS.BANK 
OF NIGERIA USED WHAT WE CALL “SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT” S.D.T.P METHOD TO PAY THIS FUND BY WIRE TRANSFER. SECRET DIPLOMATIC 
PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADE UNLESS THE FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES.


THE QUESTION I ASK YOU IS THIS, WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN A SECRET TRANSFER, IF THE TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE, IF YOU ARE NOT 
A TERRORIST, THEN WHY DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEY DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT? WHY DID YOU INSTRUCT THEM TO USE A CODED MEANS TO 
TRANSFER YOUR FUND? FUNDS LIKE THIS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES/MONEY LAUNDERING, WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET 
INTO TROUBLE AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS ARE CREDITED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE INNOCENT, WHICH IS MY PRESUMPTION FOR NOW, 
BUT YOU NEED TO PROOF THIS TO THE FBI.


F.B.I STOPPED THE TRANSFER OF $10,500,000.00 USD THROUGH A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT ACCOUNT (S.D.T.A) THAT WAS USED TO WIRE THIS 
FUND TO YOU. WE ADVICE YOU TO CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY, AS YOUR FUNDS ARE STOPPED AND HELD IN OUR CUSTODY, YOU ARE TO PROVIDE US WITH 
THE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) DOCUMENT THAT ACCOMPANIED YOU’RE FUNDS WITHIN THE NEXT 3 DAYS.


TO PROOF TO US THAT THE FUNDS YOU ARE RECEIVING FROM NIGERIA IS TERRORIST/DRUG FREE AND NOT PROCEEDS FROM MONEY LAUNDERING. FAILURE 
TO PRODUCE THE DIST DOCUMENT, WE SHALL IMPOUND THE TRANSFER AND PROSECUTE YOU FOR CRIMINAL OFFENSE, BUT ON THE CONTRARY YOU’RE FUNDS 
WILL BE RELEASED TO IMMEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THE DIST DOCUMENT. WE HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU DIRECTLY BY EMAIL BECAUSE OF TIME AND 
YOUR PHONE NUMBER HERE ISN’T GOING THROUGH, ACQUIRE THE DIST DOCUMENT AS PROOF THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHTFUL BENEFICIARY,


THE DIST IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE DIST DOCUMENT GUARANTEES YOU OF THE FOLLOWING

60T YOUR CREDIT PAYMENT IS IRREVOCABLE
61H YOU ARE EMPOWERED TO RECEIVE THE FUNDS WITHOUT FURTHER SCRUTINY
62J YOUR BANK CAN EITHER BE IN USA/UK/OUTSIDE OR ANYWHERE YOU ARE HAVING FULL RESIDENCY


REPLY IMMEDIATELY WITH THIS DIST DOCUMENT IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR TRANSFERRED FUNDS WE INTERCEPTED






ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535












CC CANADIAN POLICE ASSOCIATION
CC GENERAL INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (GID)
CC ASIA PACIFIC GROUP ON MONEY LAUNDERING (APG)
CC INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF)
CC INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF SECURITIES COMMISSIONS (IOSCO)
CC ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)






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mikey9
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« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2011, 06:30:38 PM »

....love the CC's at the bottom - nice to include the IMF... Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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Tigger
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« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2011, 01:23:31 PM »

I've had a few of these (insert your country of choice) money emails but never one with quite so many zeros at the end.  Well done Richard, grab you prize with both hands  hysteria

Being a self confessed pedant with regards to English grammar, these things always give me a good laugh.  Even the FBI can manage better use of English than this one shows.  Maybe if somebody took a little bit of care to write one correctly then I'd be fooled by it.......

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MR GUS
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« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2011, 01:49:15 PM »

Anyone hear the Radio4 comedy "Ed Reardon's Week" where he starts writing concise english for these sorts...

I didn't used to like old Ed but the comedy has grown on me since,

eh Elgar? (meeeoow)
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dhaslam
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« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2011, 05:34:21 PM »

How are these people able to keep sending enormous numbers of emails, probably millions.   I get up to three emails each day from someone claiming to be Halifax Bank plc.     Wouldn't it be fairly simple to trace them and lock them up for a few years?
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clivejo
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« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2011, 08:10:08 PM »

Actually, maybe that email was meant for me.  I had a long lost relative pass way recently (so long lost I have no idea who he was) and a very kind man from Nigeria wrote to me to tell me I would inherit his estate worth $15million.   All he needed was $10,000 to process the transaction. So I wrote back and asked him to deduct the $10,000 and to keep a similar sum for himself and forward the rest to me ASAP.  I haven't heard back from him, so I think he must have deposited the money in your account by mistake!!  When you check your bank balance the discover the 10,500,000.00 US DOLLARS, please don't spend it, its mine!  I have an email to prove it!  onpatrol

Any ways.... [serious face]

How are these people able to keep sending enormous numbers of emails, probably millions.   I get up to three emails each day from someone claiming to be Halifax Bank plc.     Wouldn't it be fairly simple to trace them and lock them up for a few years?

They use a huge network of virus infected computers called a bot net.  These computers are in offices and peoples living rooms which are constantly spewing out SPAM(billions of emails).  Unfortunately, to trace one of these emails just leads you to an infected computer somewhere in the world, and no way to find the true 'sender'.  

These people are making big money from this.  While there are still plenty of "common sense deficient" people who reply with their bank details / credit card info then these scams will continue.  All it takes is one  bike to reply and relieve him/her of their hard earned funds to make it all worth while!  banghead

Personally any emails written in caps would be instantly deleted!

« Last Edit: August 12, 2011, 08:16:05 PM by clivejo » Logged
M
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« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2011, 09:39:14 PM »

Probably not news to anyone, but just in case ....

I don't download my emails immediately I use mailwasher (lots of similar products many free out there), I check to see what's waiting with mailwasher first, then delete any emails I don't want to receive. That they way they never get delivered and my address won't appear to exist - since most of the spammers just send emails to every combination of characters.

These days I hardly ever get a dodgy email.

I think Virgin offer a similar system where you can check what's with them before you allow it to be delivered. I'm not particularly computer savvy, prefer a drill and a tool box, so sorry if all this is totally obvious.

Martyn
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biff
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« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2011, 09:44:27 PM »

i have been getting this kind os email for years,ever since i got a puta,in the beginning i used to write big long emails in reply,one lady claimed that her daddy was the ex dictator and had his dosh all wrapped up in a bank in the caymen islands,however it was,nt possible to claim the dosh because she would need to get back into her childhood palace from which the evil nobs expelled her.so she needed lolly to hire mercenaries to get her paperwork back and then she would split the dosh 50/50 with your truly.
   i explained that i was just back from africa having run riot though angola and put the wind up the ruskies and after a suitable break,say 4 weeks i would be prepared to get my team together and fly out to rescue her and reinstall her back in her palace.i had at my disposal 24 apachie copters gunships which were lying up getting serviced in kenya and when the holidays were over our team would be back up to strength and we would be looking forward to getting back into action. i had over 4 good emails from her(probely some lad keen to make his fortune),when the date for flying out began to draw near,i required a holding compound of 6 sq acres for my fleet of gunships but of course i could not dream of beginning untill i had some goodwill gesture from her,say 2 million to cover expenses in getting ready for action.
   it was at that point that things cooled,i even agreed to take gold bullion and did not care where it came from.then it all fizzled out. i guess it gave me a chance to expand my imagination and prove to myself that we irish can bullshxte with the best.
     back home in nigeria she must have been thinking that the world was full of fruitcakes.
                                                                                              biff
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ecogeorge
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« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2011, 10:30:19 PM »

For those of you who long to create a witty reply to these scams but have never done so you really must read - Delete this at your peril -the Bob Servant emails.   Features a long email correspondance involving gold bullion , lost millions and wild game.
http://www.bobservant.com/books.html

Was serialised on R4 a while ago - couldn't get out of the van until it had finished.
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Wyleu
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« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2011, 01:51:03 PM »

Email dates back to an innocent age and is probably a little too simplistic to really ever be clean. Mechanisms like facebook or linkin probably represent the future of personal communication.
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