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biff
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« on: November 06, 2011, 12:31:11 PM » |
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it all began towards the end of last summer.the steel errecters had gone and i was just getting into the swing of building the blockwork in "der shed" the blockwork was almost half up when i began to get severe pains in the joints in the lower half of my body,in fact,pains in my shins,thighs and ankles aslo.i put it down to some kind of flu but as i struggled on i found walking almost unbearable,so i waited and waited for it to clear up,everything in "der shed" came to a halt.i took the time to build a large shock absorbing brace to keep the shed from getting blown away in a storm,that would have been my last such job untill the following summer.
i do not have much faith in doctors,never had.we have a doctor locally who i refer to as "bertie wooster" but i had no option,i needed help.my wife,like myself is retired but she spent 40 years working as a nurse,in AE and would have massive experience in all departments ,so i left it to her to arrange appointments and see if anyone could help. by now i was finding it impossible to sleep,large lumps had formed on my hips,and knees.i had moved out of our bed because it was impossible for me to stay still and my single bed had to be covered in memory foam to have any comfort at all.bloods became the order of the day and trips to the GH in sligo for tests in all kinds of machines.
on one such trip to sligo i was in a waiting room with about 6 other patients who were all discussing the various cancers that they had. i remember remarking to my wife that"it must be some shock to discover you have that".
january/febuary2011 rolled into one long nightmare of pain.i was on all kinds of painkillers but they did nothing but give me a bad tummy,yet dare i try to do without them,then the real hell began.i remember getting phsyio on my thighs to help me relax but it left me in agony instead.i had the horrible sensation of these same thigh muscles turning to mush and falling sideways under the skin. by now i could only lie on my back and walk perhaps 50ft,or rather crab along.i refused to use a stick or crutch (silly).then in march,a trip to the doctor and a course of antibiotics for a sniff in my head.an appointment was made,,two months away to see a consultant surgeon,a specialist.while waiting to see the specialist i asked for another course of antibiotics which i took faithfully and in due time i got to see the specialist in sligo. by may i was beginning to get to sleep properly but still only on my back,like it is still.the specialist put me in for an epidural,a horrible affair.this acted like a tonic and gave me the strength to push on and finish "der shed".i began cutting back on the painkillers,and went back to doing the bloods. then no more trips to the doctor and i got on with trying to get my life back. tuesday a month ago,my wife says i had a bad sniff and this was what started the whole thing off before,so off to the doctor for something for it but this time on my own. i remember laughing and joking with some of the old dears in the waiting room and then it was my time to see the doc..well hello george he said, as he closed the door behind us," "miralcle man,, yes sir, miracle man,,"i stood looking at him with my mouth open but he told me to sit down and began looking at the screen which revealed the fall and rise of my bloods."this kind of thing has been documented ,,well documented but i have never actually seen it happen untill you came along". .yet i am still sitting there like and idiot,,,"pardon",.he told me how i made a great recovery and how he felt the node in my groin,how he watched the bloods recover and come right...
well i should have been delighted but instead i kind of went into shock,even as i write these lines my eyes are blurred with tears which i still cannot understand,i think back to sligo and my time in the waiting room in the particular day when i said to my wife "it must be some shock to discover you have that",,eventually i had to ask him outright what it was i had,,,he fixed me with a strange look,,"leukameia,,bone cancer george","by all the documented evidence,,this will go away and never comeback."
i am not the slightest bit religious,in fact i believe it is the root of all evil, i knew i was in real trouble but i still did not believe i was seriously ill,i was waiting for it to pass,like i had no choice in the matter.my wife would have known exactly what was going on and would have been in touch with the doctors but i am truly amazed as to how blind i choose to be. a real case of "dearest denial".it still hurts to walk but i am getting stronger, the doctor was able to tell me i had finished "der shed".we had a good laugh at that.i will be left with definate after effects but i can live with that..no pun intended.
biff
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