I am thinking of installing a rainharvesting system to feed loo's, an outside tap and maybe the washing machine.
Not an answer to any of your questions, but a suggestion of where you might get some ideas.
I went round Earthship Fife yesterday <http://www.sci-scotland.org.uk/index.shtml>. This is a visitor/exhibition centre which is not connected to any external services. Electricity comes from hydro (10m head onto a small turbine), wind and PV panels, which all charge up batteries. From this they run computers, lights and the most important item, the kettle.
Water comes from the roof. This goes into a 1000 litre drum via coarse gravel filters. From there it is pumped by a pressure activated pump through a couple of filters. Drinking water also goes through a UV filter. Hot water is produced in an "unvented" cylinder using immersion heaters which are part of the system to absorb excess electricity.
Having run out of the sink the water runs through the plants in the solar buffer area (you can just about see these plants in the photograph on the home page).
The water is then pumped back to the toilet (a fairly standard toilet, though with a three setting variable flush system).
From there the water is taken to a greenhouse, which has to be 10m away from the dwelling in Scotland. There the solids are broken down and the plants irrigated. Any excess water in the greenhouse is transferred to a bed outside the greenhouse.
Earthships were started in the USA, often in desert or semi-desert areas. This one was built along the same lines as an experiment to see what works and what doesn't work so well in a different climate. The lessons learnt are the fairly obvious ones that water is not so important in Scotland, but heat is more important. Some of the ideas can be adapted to other sorts of building.
They have an on-line shop and the Earthship Toolkit has comprehensive information on the systems.