"Cracker" it was not.

[biff]

So last night about 10ish,I sat down to join herself watching a bit of telly.
                                     Oh!! Says I,A bit of "Cracker" and sure enough there was Robbie himself looking every inch the "Cracker" of old.But no.there was something wrong,His name was Hain and they were all going to stitch him up and the more I watched it the more I became convinced that the director was a teenager and the main leading Lady was the real life love of his heart,he must have rescued her from some slave garment factory where she was confined to small spaces because her movements were stilted and her acting abilities were zero,zero, zero,.The plot was borrowed from his grannie,s "Enid Blighton,s full Monty" novel, The one where they rescued the stray dog called Monty,who had a leg chopped off in a dreadfull bobslaying accident  so they got Timmy, the tree surgeon to stitch the 4th leg back on.The following week they entered Monty in the Guinness classic at Harold cross where he won by an amazing 52 lengths.
 Imagine Robbie getting involved in that load off tripe.This was bad telly,It was so bad that you could not even laugh at it.
                                                                       Biff

[todthedog]

Ah Biff, I hope Lady Biff is of the same opinion as yourself, if not you will just have to make yourself scarce, this is a no win scenario.

Mrs T is a big fan of Strictly, so I watch or read in the same room, naturally passing on my critical dance know-how (0) on the finer technical points. I truly have a dancers voice and a singers legs !!  I do do an excellent sharp intake of breath accompanied by the head shake.

 I discovered that there is considerable betting on this subject and bookies are no fools. So after the Saturday show (both shows being filmed on the Saturday) I look up the odds.  12 contestants left you can only find odds on 11. The missing contestant is the one that will be eliminated on the 'Sunday' show.  I then solumnly pronounce that in my view so and so will be eliminated tomorrow, naturally dressed up in a load of flannel.

It took her a month to catch on !!

[biff]

Fantastic thinking Tod,
                      But Mrs Biff already knows that I mostly watch "Strictly" just to be good and well behaved. I must not voice an opinion because it would spoil the show.However secretly,, I live in hope that one of the contestants will be that far of their rocker that he might cr*p in the middle of the floor.
   I could happen.!. im vile.
                            Biff

[Greenbeast]

Ah Biff, I hope Lady Biff is of the same opinion as yourself, if not you will just have to make yourself scarce, this is a no win scenario.

Mrs T is a big fan of Strictly, so I watch or read in the same room, naturally passing on my critical dance know-how (0) on the finer technical points. I truly have a dancers voice and a singers legs !!  I do do an excellent sharp intake of breath accompanied by the head shake.

 I discovered that there is considerable betting on this subject and bookies are no fools. So after the Saturday show (both shows being filmed on the Saturday) I look up the odds.  12 contestants left you can only find odds on 11. The missing contestant is the one that will be eliminated on the 'Sunday' show.  I then solumnly pronounce that in my view so and so will be eliminated tomorrow, naturally dressed up in a load of flannel.

It took her a month to catch on !!

tod, that is fantastic

[Billy]

Biff,

You really should get yourself on the next series of "Gogglebox".

I think you would go down a storm, the wee dog could sit between you on the sofa as you critique the trashy telly, what.   

[biff]

Im not sure Billy,
             I grew up on a diet of the "Durango Kid, "The Lone ranger" "The three stoogies" "Old Mother Rilley" Chaplin,Gleeson, etc,,
Sunday matinee a sixpence piece.We rode the range and help the goodie chase the baddie across the badlands. Dozens of little terrors stomping on the floor like mad and when the second goodie got shot we cried.An drunken usher would come down to try and restore order and fall over loosing his flashlight.Then the guards would be called.Haloween meant rotten fruit and pasting the screen when the baddie came into view.Then the clergy would be called in.They did their very best to show decent films,If they showed boring ones, the smart alex would get going with their comment in the darkness and some of them were funny,once people started laughing,then the throwing started,then the fighting. .We kids thought it was normal. We were all about 9 or 10 at the time with the bigger ones in the 15 yr bracket.
    Our cousins often came to stay,They all said the same thing, our films were the most exciting ever..
                                                                                Biff